My favorite band is this little group of newts I found under a log in the woods who play tiny trumpets made from hollow reeds and twigs
Oh yea I bet you can’t name 5 of their songs
1. Doot Toot
2. tiny fern
3. do NOT eat mushrooms you just find in the woods
4. broken heart broken trumpet
5. George Costanza is my hero
(via cantankerous-arse)
How Did You Find That Untagged Post From 11 Months Ago a story of confusion, fear, and general unease
(via purewhiteriver99)
i’m starting to reach that point of scifi inebriation again where the thought that i’m actually confined to a single planet is really weird to me
(via consultingparacosmist)
now I know for sure how Spock got to be Kirk’s first officer
(via goldshirts-tightpants)
i get that you think you’re edgy and different because of how mean you are but real cleverness is being funny without hurting other people so really you’re not clever at all
HAVE YOU EVER WANTED TO BE BEST FRIENDS WITH A TEACHER EVEN THOUGH THEY’RE OLDER THAN YOU AND THEY’RE YOUR TEACHER THE STRUGGLE IS REAL
(via onlyinafigurativesense)
if we’d developed particle weapons during the ronald reagan era we could have called them ronald rayguns but we fucked that up just like everything else
(via hammyandbean)
she wears short skirts, i wear blue shirts, she’s cheer captain and damnit jim, i’m a doctor
(via its-captainmarvel)
